The Urban Cottage Designs

What More Could a Girl Ask For?

2010-05-13T10:56:00.010-04:00

I have a happy home ... that loves me, too ...

beautiful children ...

A dream that is becoming a reality ...

The reward for three years of hard work and dedication ...

A husband who loves me ...

The rest of my life to become anything I want to be ...

And the keys to this sweet little car in my hot little hands ... and, yes, it DOES return the favor!!

{ Kindred Spirits }

2010-03-19T20:52:00.005-04:00

I have one ... a Kindred Spirit. I am fortunate to be able to say that I found one {quite by accident, chance and good fortune) ... but they are mine. And I cherish their influence in my life.

The relationship of Kindred Spirits is unique and special .. with no rules or suggestions to guide you along this Path of Connection, each bringing their own set of expectations and contributions to the relationship.

Kindred Spirits stick together. We understand each other. We may not always agree, or have the same perspective ... we don't even have regular communication ...but we respect each other's point of view and trust each other with honest and truthful responses.

I love my Kindred Spirit.

{ Merry Christmas }

2009-12-25T20:42:00.001-05:00

:: Happy Birthday to Me ::

2009-12-17T22:36:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday to me ... and it was a wonderful day!

:: Stop & Smell the Roses ::

2009-09-06T15:48:00.003-04:00

"It isn't the great big pleasures that count the most; it's making a great deal out of the little ones."
Jean Webster
Daddy Long-Legs

It's Official! I'm a Football Mom, Too!

2009-08-19T22:39:00.004-04:00

Today is a Banner Day in my household! It can't get much better than this!

One child a Freshman in college, another a Freshman in high school. My big fish in their little ponds have now been dumped into bigger ponds! AND my baby played in his first official High School football game!

The youngest of my three children, the smallest of my babies ... the little boy who barely weighed 7 pounds and whose little bitty legs looked like twigs when he was born has grown into a 260-pound Defensive Tackle with a size 12 shoe that any Football Mom would be proud to call her own!

We put a football helmet and pads on this child at six years old, and he has played with all his heart ever since. The game has not always been his friend ... he has been discouraged and disgruntled at times, but he always comes back to it. And that kind of perseverence can only be explained by a genuine love of the game!

Oh, and he's a pretty good kid, too!

It's Official! I'm a Hokie Mom!!

2009-08-19T22:15:00.003-04:00

We delivered our daughter to her college dorm room tonight. A fairly painless procedure for us ... if you compare us to the thousands of other exhausted parents and students who had been =Moving In= all day. Remember, my daughter is very independent and self-sufficient ... she had already filled her car to the brim and carted =just= about everything she owns to her new address earlier in the day.

Oh, and she's very pretty, too (even if I am her mom) ... so there were plenty of "Frat Boys" available to help her unload her car.

So all we had to do was walk her to her door, kiss her good night, and tell her that we love her ... and that we are very, very proud of her.

But surprisingly, what I thought would be the easiest part of this whole "High School to College" transition with her actually turned out to be the hardest. The hardest part was coming home ... coming home, knowing that my daughter would not sleep under the same roof with us ... coming home without her, turning off the front porch lights and locking the door ... locking the door to a home that did not shelter all of my children for the night. And, until tonight, I thought I would welcome the day when my daughter grew up and didn't need us any more.

Our job is almost done. And I think we've done a pretty good job preparing this young lady for what's next.

Family :: Friends :: Fireworks

2009-07-04T21:46:00.000-04:00

Happy 4th of July!

:: Pomp & Circumstance ::

2009-06-09T19:06:00.005-04:00

... our daughter graduated from high school this morning. This beautiful young lady ... this child who has been pulling away from me since the MINUTE she was born eighteen years ago ... has cleared another one of the biggest hurdles into adulthood.

This young lady walked across the football field -- on this beautiful Spring morning -- with her head held high and her shoulders back and proud ... and casually accepted her high school diploma. She knows she has worked hard to gain this little piece of paper ... and she realizes that not every one of the children she started kindergarten with twelve years ago was in that line of graduates with her this morning. But she really has no idea of the significance of her hard work and efforts over the past twelve years. She has no idea how this persistence will pay off over her lifetime. I doubt if she will ever know how proud we are of her.

:: Run for the Roses ::

2009-05-02T21:08:00.003-04:00

Congratulations to Mine That Bird ... winner of the 135 Kentucky Derby.

It's the chance of a lifetime ... in a lifetime of chance

:: Coincidences -- Or Cosmic Signs? ::

2009-04-21T20:45:00.009-04:00

Not too long ago, I mindlessly turned down a street that I NEVER travel to reach my daily destinations. I was just driving down the road, like I do EVERY morning, and WITHOUT thinking ... and at the LAST possible SAFE moment ... I turned down this seldom-traveled road.

Okay. I'm thinking that I'm not QUITE sure why I did THAT, but change is good; right? And then I ran right SMACK into this sign. So I had to turn around. Stop. And take THIS picture:

I won't go so far as to say that this experience was divine intervention ... but I truly believe that I was supposed to drive that route ... that I was supposed to see this message. I'm still not quite sure what the message is, but I feel certain that when I'm supposed to understand it, the message will become crystal clear.

But in the meantime, this seemingly insignificant discovery has made me think. It has made me think about all kinds of things. And I wonder if I'm alone in my thinking. Am I the only "unsettled" middle-age wife, mother and daughter who is questioning whether or not I'm headed in the right direction? Am I the only one who questions if the path I have chosen in my lifetime will lead to undying love, happiness and success? Am I supposed to be "here" ... where I am right now? And am I headed toward a place where I want to be ... for my own personal reasons, and not to satisfy an obligation to or an expectation of someone else?

Or EVEN worse! Have I become so buried and overwhelmed in the daily responsibilities and obligations that go along with being a wife and a mother that I neglect to wonder "What If?" Have I become so complacent and so comfortable with my current state of being that I've lost myself? Have I become so overwhelmed by the obstacles that I have given up on ever finding a way around the barriers?

and I ask myself:

What If I had paid better attention in school? What If I had actually studied and applied myself? What If I had followed my head instead of my heart, even way back then?

What If I had listened to my Grandfather when he explained to me how a GFI circuit worked ... AND What If I had watched just a little more closely when he showed me how to wire it into a receptacle? What If I had known then that he would not be around to show me again when I really needed to know how?

What if I did not choose the Path of Least Resistance when that choice and that path was so critical to my future happiness and success? What If I had not settled and What If I had not sold out all those many years ago?

AND MAYBE THE MOST CRITICAL OF ALL:

What If the planets are now aligned in my favor and the cosmic void is screaming at me: "Wake up, Stupid! This is your call! Get to work!" ?

So NOW I'm thinking that Middle Age is a fantastic impetus for accomplishing goals and making difficult & painful decisions. Time marches on ... Life rarely grants us a "Do-Over" ... and if something is to be done, it MUST be done now ... or at least within a reasonable & foreseable future.

and What If this license plate is trying to tell me something, too?

I have been told that walls are built to define who we are and what we can achieve in our lifetime. We are who we are ... but we can only become who we are based upon the definitions of these walls. And I believed that. For a long time, for a life-time, I trusted this notion ... just like I trust sight-unseen that there is a merciful God in Heaven. I trust that sunshine will eventually shine through the dark clouds, and I pray that good people are rewarded for good deeds and forgiven for their sins.

But now I wonder about the insignificant and random cosmic signs that appear out of nowhere -- in the parking lot when I'm JUST paying the cell phone bill or on the side of a road that I rarely travel down, on a morning when I begin to question who I am and where I'm going and what I can achieve in the second half of my life. Are these signs scattered for me to find in some fabulous treasure hunt, a beacon of sorts to guide me along? Or are these only random coincidences in a life that is powered soley on auto-pilot? I hope so ... and I hope not.

And I am intriqued ... no, MESMERIZED by the underlying current of subconscious decisions and encounters that are taking me to places I don't recognize. These random cosmic signs and chance experiences are requiring me to trust myself and to rely on my instincts and to believe in myself, another auto-pilot, if you will ... for the first time in my life.

It never ceases to amaze me how significant the insignificant can be

:: heirloom ::

2009-01-05T09:04:00.004-05:00

"heirloom" - (n.): a valued possession that is passed down in a family through succeeding generations.

This little countertop drawer cupboard is the oldest "heirloom" my husband and I have accumulated in our twenty year union. I purchased it shortly after we were married, when *EVERYTHING* that caught my eye had a heart or a heart cutout on it. (Come on ... be honest ... I bet you had a few of *those* pieces, too!).

This poor little thing has been all over the house ... and almost discarded a time or two ...

but a fresh coat of distressed paint, many years ago, and a permanent spot on the kitchen counter ... and, well, yeah ...

I wonder which one of my children will "put their name on the back"?

:: 2009 :: A Fresh Start ::

2009-01-01T17:57:00.000-05:00

This year is a fresh start ...

a new chapter in life.

Take a leap of faith!

Believe in Me!

- Sara Ban Breathnack

:: Catching Up . . . and Establishing Blogships ::

2008-02-09T18:20:00.000-05:00

I was tagged . . . a very long time ago . . . by a very computer-savy cyber friend that I've had the pleasure of chatting with for years. I found Cathy of Hazelruthe's over at the Primitive & Rustic bulletin board . . . and she is always the first to respond to questions about any range of topics :: from crafting tips and how-to's to email problems and even the *what is she talking about* html questions . . . Anyhoo . . . I posted a plaintiff plea of blogging questions . . . awhile ago ... okay, a long time ago, sorry Cathy . . . and she responded, of course, with answers to my questions, this tag, and a link on her blog page ... THANKS!! Cathy has a wonderful blog chock full of beautiful eye-candy, wonderful tips and inspirations, patterns, and a journal of her light-hearted musings ... worth a trip to see!! And Barb McMahon of May December Home has tagged me as well . . . did I mention that I am a long-time lurker on her site, and to see *my* name in print was quite a thrill! Please visit her blog for volumes of inspiration and talent! Barb, you're my idol, girl!! So, with a busy work schedule, three nights of school per week, school projects, home improvement projects ... all the usual "mom" stuff, with web page design class projects thrown into the mix, I am finally able to sit down, figure out how to pass along the tag, and re-establish these cyber relationships ... Thanks again, Cathy and Barb, and sorry for the long delay! Hugs!!

:: Finally - - - It Snowed! ::

2008-01-17T15:55:00.000-05:00

Finally ~ a snow day ... a morning that does not start out in a mad rush ... a morning where the "bathroom ballet" does not happen ...

And if you're wondering what the "bathroom ballet" is ... have you ever shared ONE tiny bathroom :: shower, toilet, sink :: with not only two males, but one SIXTEEN year old female :-) See the previous pictures I posted of this bathroom, and you'll see why THIS morning was such a treat!

This morning was one when I actually got to finish a cup of coffee while watching the new television Santa brought ... sitting down, with a cozy comforter around my lap, actually feeling the warm liquid gold sliding into my system, and actually seeing the home improvement show I was watching ... NOT listening from another room and gulping coffee on-the-go ...

Oh, the joys of a snow day ...

:: Bathroom Pictures ::

2008-01-09T09:50:00.001-05:00

My primitive bathroom ... Ralph Lauren Farmhouse Red paint everywhere, on the vanity and the shelf ... hardwood floors, which have held up relatively well ... and blue-checked tap top curtains for the shower curtain and the window valance ... thrift store shutters, that do NOT fit, but sit nicely in the window ... and an old wooden bureau sits in front of the toilet (not shown!), painted Farmhouse Red of course!, and held my towels and washclothes, etc. ... Too much clutter! Too much color! Too much "stuff" to dust every week!

My cottage bathroom NOW! The cottagey-green floor paint continues from the kitchen to the hallway to the bathroom ... the chunky vanity is replaced with an authentic VINTAGE porcelain pedestal sink ... creates a lot of visual "open" space ... decluttered the windows ... nothing to dust and keep clean over the toilet ... replaced the shelf over the toilet with a narrow kitchen cupboard, purchased at an estate sale ... I just replaced the glass with mirrors ... gallons of gloss white paint ... and cottage green ticking stripe tap top curtains for a shower curtain ... so much easier to maintain!

I created a painted faux brick effect on the walls ... they actually look and feel like painted exterior brick ... very vintage and cottagey ...

:: Kitchen Pictures ::

2008-01-06T18:44:00.002-05:00

My primitive kitchen BEFORE! I loved all of my kitchen collectibles ... my baskets and crocks and old jars with cinnamon sticks and whole cloves, displayed in my old hoosier cabinet . . . oh my! The distressed red paint is still a popular choice of my customers today ... but I needed a change! This is my cottage kitchen TODAY ... well, as of the summer of 2005. Hubby and I dressed up the cabinet door fronts with decorative moulding, crown moulding to the ceiling, brushed nickel hardware and gloss white paint. We replaced the drop-tile ceiling with 'rock and plaster, and I painted the worn-out wooden floors with a cottagy green gloss paint ... which will eventually run throughout the entire house ...

:: please don't notice the convection oven damage ... I will repaint the cabinets eventually :/ ::

more to follow!

:: The Journey Begins ... ::

2008-01-06T14:14:00.000-05:00

. . . with a single step!

Henry Miller said, and I quote,

"to begin is THE thing ... begin anywhere, anyhow!"

Mr. Miller's words ring in my mind ... just begin ANYWHERE, anyhow! A project, no matter how big or small, cannot be completed if it is not begun. And you cannot realize which direction your current project will take until you just begin ...

:: Inspirational Words ::

2008-01-06T13:07:00.000-05:00

"He started to sing

as he tackled the thing

that couldn't be done ...

and he did it!"

Edgar A. Guest

:: Looking Forward ... and Looking Back ::

2008-01-05T13:10:00.002-05:00

"The Urban Cottage"

One of my Resolutions this year is to begin and maintain a blog. I certainly enjoy the wit and wisdom of all the great "bloggers" I check-in with every day ... and I certainly learn something new every day. There is a huge and enormous bank of talent in this little world wide web, and I am truly grateful for the opportunity to share and learn from all of the talented folks out here.

Thanks to all who contribute to my new addiction,

these blogs ... and starbucks coffee!

My intent and purpose in this endeavor :: of begininng and maintaining a blog :: is to document the trials and tribulations of nurturing my own decorative painting business, while attending school to achieve the interior design *certificate* ... which will lead to my ultimate goal of membership in the American Society of Interior Designers. Don't ask me why ... but, to see my name with "AASID" beside it will be a true hallmark in my life ... this, and being the mother of three beautiful children and the happily married wife of a truly devoted and fantastic husband of eighteen years!

And I want to memorialize my "love-hate" relationship with my home, the house I grew up in. "The Urban Cottage Designs" is borne of my desire to marry the "cottage" of my soul with a new-found longing in my spirit to live in an "urban" setting ... to grow up, if you will. But, stay tuned ... more to follow!

Over the next series of posts, I will share "Before" and "After" photographs of the progress my loving and patient husband and I have made in this home.

So with this foundation laid, I would like to share an essay I wrote for an English 111 class which was required for my interior design *certification* and, if you will remember, my "ultimate goal in life".

Now, please realize that blogging seemed to me like an exciting adventure for the New Year ... a "Resolution" that I could certainly maintain, much easier than losing 20 pounds,huh? Then I actually sat down and tried to charm you, my potential readers, with the whit and wisdom and chatty repartee that I so enjoy from the bloggers that I stalk each and every morning, afternoon and night ... you guys make it look SO easy!

So, I was searching for an essay to share with you, one that I had written on the value of my home in my life ... not only to express my love for my lifelong home, but to open up the flow of words and fresh ideas with which I hope to nurture this blog in the coming days of 2008 ... but I found this essay instead ...

And I ask for your indulgence, dear reader, as I remind myself of where I am RIGHT now and of how far I have progressed, including one :*/ more birthday since this essay was written.

"For purposes of this assignment, we are asked to write an essay comparing and contrasting something, presumably items or people or events, which we have encountered in the course of our normal daily lives. Subject topics, such as the differences between my cat and dog, or even how similar my children have been to raise, yet how uniquely different each of them are, come to mind. There are even easier topics I could choose to write about, like how I hate spending my money at Walmart, as opposed to how I love shopping at Target. There is even the possibility of comparing and contrasting any number of the political, religious, or moral controversies that are occurring worldwide. But I think I will indulge my inner self and satisfy two goals with this one task. If only to memorialize the progress I have made in my life, I think I choose to compare and contrast myself, the unhappy and insecure eighteen-year old student at Radford University with the settled and mature forty-two year old student at Virginia Western Community College.

According to our textbook, a subject that is to be “contrasted” must first be similar enough to be “compared.” I originally began this theme with the belief that I was the same person -- in body, soul, mind and name -- way back then that I am now. In my mind, that fact alone was a strong enough foundation for this “Compare and Contrast” assignment. But as I began to put to-paper the statement that “I am the same person I was twenty-five years ago,” so I could list all of the similarities of ‘that me’ with the ‘me of today’ and continue on with the contrast of those two individuals, I realized that there are very few similarities between us at all.

I am the same person, technically. I still have the same Social Security Number. I still have mostly brown hair, at least for the time being. I still have the same parents and the same younger brother, and I still retain most of the values and beliefs that I held dear when I was eighteen years old. I am still kind to animals, and I still live in the same house I grew up in. And I still like pizza and chocolate ice cream, even though the ice cream makes me sick to my stomach now.

But, as it turns out, the foundation for my initial comparison, that I am the same person in body, soul, mind and name, has actually become the foundation for contrast of this essay.

A person’s body should be a constant in their lives. No matter what we do or where we go, we must take our bodies with us. I acknowledge that a person’s younger body is in better shape physically than the body they live with as it ages, and I realize that the ravages of time and gravity do take their toll on a physique. But a person dies in the same body they were born in, generally.

In my case, there is no comparison between my eighteen-year old body and my forty-two year old body. My eighteen-year old body was morbidly obese and very out-of-shape. Physical exercise was a form of punishment in 1983, and I hid myself under long hair and baggy clothes for most of my adolescent and young adult life. And no assault on a person’s body could compare with the ravages of three pregnancies.

But thanks to gastric bypass surgery in October, 2004, and a membership at the local YMCA, my body is in much better shape today than it was when I was a teenager. I can now walk up a flight of steps, carrying an armload of books and holding a conversation with the person next to me. And I no longer hide underneath pounds of hair hanging in my face. I am by no means ready to compete in a long-distance triathlon or ignorant enough try my hand with a court full of pony-tailed eighteen-year old basketball beasts; but I am closer to doing those things now, at forty-two, than I ever was at eighteen.

I guess a more accurate comparison between my “old self” and my “new self” would be that I still walk around in the same skin -- although at this point in my life, I no longer feel compelled to jump out of my skin and into someone else’s, anybody else’s skin anywhere else in the world! I finally feel rooted and planted and comfortable in my own body.

My soul. My soul has taken a beating in the past 24 years. As an eighteen-year old, I had no respect for my own needs and desires, short of attaining immediate gratification with whatever shiny trinket caught my eye. The driving force in my life was accomplishing the tasks I thought I was supposed to accomplish. For instance, I knew I was supposed to go to college. Okay, what was I supposed to do then? I gave no thought whatsoever to the quality of life I could expect as a middle-aged adult, including even the basic ability to support myself. Where was my mind then?

As a result of my own mis-direction of my own life, I have watched dreams die and opportunities come and go. I have a whole long list of things I “should have” done and another long list of things I “wished I had” done. But, I have finally reached the point in my life where hesitation is not an option. If a dream or a goal is to have a prayer of being attained in my lifetime, it must be done now. Period. It is amazing what an impetus time can be!

I consider myself lucky, fortunate that I haven’t given up on my soul and my spirituality. I have not been beaten down so many times in the past forty-two years that I have begun to question the existence of God and the Heavens above. I have witnessed miracles with my own eyes. I have given birth to three beautiful children, I have seen a thoroughbred colt running along the pristine white fences of western Kentucky, and I have seen rainbows and sunlight beaming behind dark storm clouds -- and I finally appreciate the value of each and every one of these miracles. As an eighteen-year old, I would not have slowed down enough to notice.

Now, my mind is another matter altogether. As an eighteen-year old, I could remember just about anybody’s name, where they worked, what kind of car they drove, and who they were dating. As a forty-two year old, I could care less! Besides, I have found that a smile and polite greeting are all that really matter anyway. That attitude makes the days that I can’t remember my own name almost bearable.

And as an eighteen-year old student, I could wait until the last minute to complete just about any assignment, once I had made my mind up to do “it.” Being a forty-two year old student, with a house full of active children and a business to promote and run, I can still wait until the last minute to do something. It’s just that my “last minutes” now require more planning and forethought.

And lastly, my name. I have already written an essay on the effect that becoming someone’s mom for the first time had on my life. I will never be the same carefree, irresponsible eighteen-year old again. Ever. Regardless of whatever else I accomplish or neglect in my life, I will always be somebody’s mom, even when I am laid to rest. That much goes without saying.

But, I wasn’t much older than eighteen when my husband gave me his name. We were both twenty-four years old when we got married. This would be the first time -- and only time, according to him -- that he would give his name to the person he loved. I couldn’t claim that right of innocence, as I had already made that mistake once before. So I literally picked up my divorce decree from one window in the clerk’s office, took two steps sideways, and purchased my marriage license at the next window. Seriously. I am not exaggerating!

And it goes without saying that I was scared to death, probably for the first time in my life if past behavior was any indication. What was I thinking! How could I take this chance again? What if I let myself down? What if I destroyed this young man’s thoughts and ideals of marriage? That was my immature eighteen-year old mind at play again.

Even at the ripe old age of twenty-four, I had no confidence in my ability to make a lasting and rational, a good, decision. I was impetuous and spontaneous, and I had no guarantee at that point in time that I would ever be anything but irresponsible. My past history of bad decisions had proven that fear entirely possible.

But, in the ensuing years, through the early times of trying out my new name, I began to realize that I probably hadn’t made such a bad mistake after all. I give credit to my husband for his tenacity at staying married. I often wondered why he bothered; but thankfully, he pulled us through the difficult times. And for that, I am truly grateful to him and for him.

Neither of us was perfect and neither of us knew all of the answers. A lot of times, we didn’t know any of the answers; but together, we weren’t too bad, either. Keith and I have matured together and made stupid mistakes together and spent too much money on frivolous things together. But together, with the help of generous and loving parents of our own, we have created a home for our children to come back to on Thanksgiving Day with their children, and we have created the home where they feel loved and secure. Together, we have learned to love one another unconditionally and to trust each other and the decisions we make, sometimes making life-altering decisions independent of the other. And I have learned to trust the person I have become and the decisions I have made or will make. But above all, I value the name that was given to me by my husband and the life that we have made together.

So the eighteen-year old Radford University student and the forty-two year old Virginia Western Community College student are two entirely different persons altogether. Although, I can’t seem to shed the baggy clothes. And I doubt I ever will."

And I look forward to our next encounter ...

Hugs, Scottie

:: Good-Bye to a Friend ::

2008-01-03T08:36:00.000-05:00

I attended the funeral of a friend yesterday. I knew her for almost twelve years, and yet I realize that I never even knew her all. Judy, I respect the fight that you fought and I (hope I do!) hear the message you have left ... and Judy, I regret that I was *this* close to you and missed the opportunity to know you better. I do regret this above all things. Judy, we will miss you ...

2008 :: a brand new beginning :: a fresh start :: a new chapter in life ...

2008-01-01T09:31:00.000-05:00

This New Year holds ...

:: 365 bright new mornings

:: 52 weeks of promise

:: 12 months to transform

into ANYTHING I want to be ...

and

:: 4 splendid seasons ...

FULL OF BEAUTIFUL POSSIBILITIES!

This year is a simply abundant time to be

cherished and savored ...

Sara Ban Breathnack